Reality Hits
This is hard for me – this post, these thoughts, this reality. Reality is something, most of us have struggled with, at one time or another. Struggling with our perception of reality vs. the truth of our reality. Wanting to believe that life around us, is unraveling just as our eyes see it. We tend to see or recognize only what our minds convince us too. Unfortunately, that is truly the best we can do. I can confidently attest to that fact that I am not a mind reader – but what I am, is an observer. When I see, I tend to feel – unable to see, and then forget.
The photo above was taken a couple of weeks ago, – Tuesday, March 13, to be exact. I spent this day as I do every day, in the presence of my little ladies. Playing along with all their make-believe, saying and acting just as they wish. Breaking up fights, over their demand for the same toy. Tending to their needs – and of course, their wants. Managing blood sugars, and planning out meals. Arguing over cleanup, to which they win nearly every single time; mommy the maid at your service! Willing to do just about anything, to hear their giggle; I can’t think of a sweeter sound.
But not a single thing can top how I end my day. With Brenley in my right arm, and Brysen snuggled in my left. As she slowly creeps her little hand down my shirt and Brenley says softly “Daddy, tickle my back.”. The room is dark and peaceful, time stands still, my thoughts go absent and my ears can only seem to hear their every breath. It is in those moments, reality hits – while I am listening to every little breathe, another mother is fearfully holding on, as she’s waiting to hear their last.
On March 13, 2019, a mother did just that. A beautiful 4-year-old little girl passed away, after a brief battle with cancer. Same cancer, our daughter was diagnosed with, had surgically removed, endured 7 long months of treatment, spent night after night in a hospital bed, with complication after complication and side effect after side effect. This cancer took our time and our memories; for the precious ones went unmade. It undoubtedly stole our daughters’ innocence; exposing her to the unfairness of life and truth of death. But this cancer; this cancer, did not take our daughter.
I now am going to ask a favor of you. I ask that for every momma (or daddy) reading this – each night when you kiss your child(ren) goodnight and wish them sweet dreams. You look them in the eyes, tell them just how much you love them and savor their sweet little voice when they say it back. For somewhere, out there, some near and some far. There are too many mothers who end their day, willing to give anything, for one last chance, to do the same.
There is one thing I know for certain, that is true for all who may be reading this; if we end our day breathing, then you, my friend have lived through another day. A day that, like the rest of us, yesterday, you were not guaranteed. So I challenge you, to challenge yourself with this. With each day moving forward, live it as if it were your last. Live as if the ones whom you love the most, won’t be here tomorrow. Live to be kind, and recognize those who need it. Live to give a smile, in passing – and to be the reason someone smiles back. Live to realize all that you have, and not all that your lacking. I challenge you to live for today; for today, is all we truly have.
♡
