Faith over Fear

If we are being honest, what parent ever thinks “their” child, could be diagnosed with cancer. Sure, at times we hear about someone we know, who knows someone, whose child is battling cancer. But never, could such a “thing” hit so close to home – until, it does.
Cancer is undiscriminating – it holds no remorse. Cancer does not see gender, race, age, ethnicity, religious, etc. With cancer, no one is exempt…

I am going to try and paint the picture. When I take a late night seat, in front of my laptop, I grab Brenley’s receiver, a fresh cup of coffee (I know what your thinking… Yes, I drink coffee after 10 pm). I place the earbuds in my ears, turn on a good playlist and the moment my fingers position over the keyboard is the moment my walls start to crumble. All that surrounds me, are my own thoughts and emotions – just me, my thoughts & Brenley’s blood sugar. As if the world around me seems to freeze. Well, almost – until a monitor beeps!

Last week was a rough one for me. I suppose I allowed my thoughts to take over. In such a way, that I did not realize just how much, I was allowing the fear of our future to creep in.

For those of you unaware, last Friday was scan day – December the 7th. This scan had been the longest we have gone without one, 4 whole months! I hold my breath when thinking about it. I know I say this often, but for a cancer patient, their parents, caregivers and loved ones – the fear never, ever fades. No matter your positive mindset or the strength of your faith. The fear is always there, hanging by a thread. Just enough so, that at times you “almost” forget it’s there, but not quite. A journey such as cancer is never truly behind you. When you are living it you are “IN” it, deep. Yet when that chapter comes to a close, you are never fully able to turn the next page…

Friday, December the 7th, this little lady’s scans showed No Evidence of Disease! Thank you God, Thank you!
Thankfully, I woke up last Friday with complete peace. However, I would be lying if I said this scan wasn’t a hard one for me. These days, are routine for us – scans, tests, pokes, labs, medications, procedures (the list goes on) and of course, the waiting. Days like that, are considered normal for a cancer family. Those days, are the exact reason, cancer will never fully be behind us. Each day that passes, I think and pray for those who are “in” it – We were them. We know their heartache. We know their pain. We know their suffering. We know their questions. We know their emptiness. We know their loneliness. We know their patience. We know their fear. We know their strength.

Childhood cancer patients and their families are the most remarkable human beings you will ever meet. They need everything, yet they ask for nothing. That’s why, I ask that each night before you rest your eyes – you pray. I ask that you pray, for those who need it. For the ones who are begging and pleading for their prayers to not only be heard but to be answered.
No matter what you may, or may not believe in. No matter the being you choose to pray too – just PRAY! To all my childhood cancer families, I will never stop praying for you♡

never let
the sadness of
your past and
the fear of your
future ruin the
happiness of
your present.