Beyond Thankful♡

There is no holiday like that of Thanksgiving. It’s the one holiday when receiving, is not expected. It’s a day intended for quality time with family and loved ones. It’s time given to share self-reflection, delicious food, lots of laughs and past memories – all while creating brand new ones. It’s the one day, that shines a light, on all that is good in our lives. That no matter how rough the journey gets, we all have so much to give thanks too.

I had always enjoyed Thanksgiving and all that it embodies, but two years ago my appreciation grew deeper. Thanksgiving 2016, was the day we were discharged, from one of our longest hospital stays. It was just the very beginning of our cancer journey. We were beyond ecstatic, to pack up all our belongings and head home – but with all the excitement, came the fear. The fear of the very many, unknowns – “What if something happens while we’re home?”, “How long will we be home for?”, “Are we capable of keeping all her medications in order?”, “How can we treat this naturally?”, “When should we cut her hair?”, “How exactly can we make her (Brenley), make sense of all of this?”, “How do we answer her questions?”, “Will our lives ever again, be normal?”, “Could this be our last Thanksgiving with our daughter?”. Questions such as these, never left our minds.

With the emotional rollercoaster, we were on and unable to escape, we never lost our ability to feel hope. There was this slight part of us, that could not be silenced, from the constant noise of our fears – that was the part of us, we chose to cling too.
After an unforeseen cancer diagnosis, a complete tumor resection, full left nephrectomy, power port placement, crucial surgical recovery, shocking pathology results (Stage II Malignant Rhabdoid Tumor of the left kidney), treatment regimen, a 10 day hospital stay and a world win of emotions, on Thursday, November 24, 2016, Thanksgiving day, we were sent home.
There are no words to describe those very first (of too many), discharge papers.

When we turned home to our families, there was a card waiting for us. This card, I will never forget – it was the first of very many. Family friends of ours, who we have known a very long time, went to everyone they knew and shared our story. In this card, amoung other things, was the most heartfelt written note, that shook me to my core. We had an Army, just waiting to shower us with endless love, support and most meaningful – prayers, for our baby girl!

From that moment forward, Thanksgiving day took on a whole new meaning. That day we returned home more broken than we ever thought we could be, yet we could not have felt more whole. We had all that truly mattered – hope, love, faith, family, each other and most of all, we had our little ladies. For me, that was the first time I saw life for exactly what it is.

Maybe so, maybe some are so thankful for that one person or thing, that it undoubtedly trumps the rest. However, choosing one seems like a nearly impossible task. So when I’m challenged to answer such a question, it really gets me thinking. I could go on forever, about all that I am truly thankful for. Most of which seem to be some of life’s simplest things. But if I had to choose just one – one answer that would vastly cover all that I am thankful for…my answer would be, my life’s experiences and choices. Without those two things, good & bad, I would not have all that I do today.

My healthy & beautiful children, my man, my selfless family & friends (old & new), my relationship with God, finding my passion & learning how to cope, our incredible childhood cancer and T1D community – which is some of the most supportive people I know, our many milestones, my appreciation for life & being able to love the things that truly matter!
& with each new year, I grow even more thankful than before – that in itself is a blessing!

Thanksgiving 2018
Beyond Thankful
Beyond Blessed
♡